TAPA

My Top 10 Nigerian Movies

I watch a ton of Nigerian movies and often get asked by friends and family for movie recommendations. Today I am here to give you the plug.
Grab your popcorn and take a seat.

Episode 57: The Youngest Child Syndrome

I am the youngest in a family of 8. An ALL-female household with the exception of my Father. Being the youngest means different things, but I can tell you that I love to have a great time, and play is forever at the top of the list.

I’m all grown, I now have my own family, a career, and BILLS. I still get called the “baby of the house” and in so many ways I think I’ve outgrown the name.

Different people have unique ideas of how birth order plays a role in shaping one’s behavior. Below are a few ideas that people have

Growing up, being the youngest surely did have its perks, I mean I was constantly called “baby of the house” I mean come ON!

By the time I was born my parents had become masters at parenting. Having had other kids they knew what issues to raise an alarm over and what issues to let slide. I would often hear my older sis sisters say ” Ozi you are getting away with this or that…” but in my opinion, it really wasn’t that I was getting away with anything,I believe my parents were now more discerning about what the REAL issues were (LOL don’t quote me)

As the youngest, I was born into a level of normalcy. My parents already had their careers figured out and didn’t have to juggle that with raising a child, in many ways, I think it made the home environment more stable.

I also had a lot of caregivers, that in itself IS a Privilege. My sisters and parents were already there to guide and direct.

Growing up I noticed that every-time my dad ate, he would set aside a portion of his food for me, usually a piece of meat of fish. I started looking forward to this and would always check to see if he left me something. In so many ways that would make me feel super special.

Snapseed 12


Now I wasn’t spoiled or any of that. For instance, We were given monthly allowances by age, which meant that I always got the least, but I never felt bad about it, to be honest, I never even spent the money. I had minimal needs.

Age was a BIG deal for a long time. I was considered too young to be involved in certain conversations or too young to go to certain places for the LONGEST time. But fast-forward to right now, and EVERYONE thinks I’m the cool one to tell EVERYTHING. So I often get too much information, but that’s what family is about no? Oh, how the tables turn.

Once I was born into a family of caregivers, who took care of my every need, but I can tell you that I’ve had to babysit my nieces and nephews too. All 12 of them, and counting… talk about paid in full and running over, oh how the tables turn.

I was handed down EVERYTHING! As the youngest of 6 girls, I really did need to have a great sense of humor because hand-me-downs were the order of the day. This I actually loved, and to this day, my sisters still hand me down clothes and what not, and I kinda love it

Many say that being the youngest child means that you are carefree and calm even in seemingly difficult situations. I think that if you have so many siblings, you probably have seen difficult situations play out before, and you know that no matter what comes your way it’s gonna be ok. Things always get worked out.

FullSizeRender 15


Personally, I believe that there are other factors that play a role in shaping one’s behavior and not just birth order. Things like style of parenting, gender, age, and the role a child plays in the family.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that the sound of my mother’s voice is still one of the best sounds I’ll ever hear. If that makes me the baby, then I’m FOREVER the baby.

Are you the first child, the middle child, youngest child or the only child, and how has that affected your behavior?

Click on the player below to listen to the full episode.

Become a supporter of this podcast:

https://anchor.fm/drozi/support

Please follow and like us:

The Reason Why I Cut My Hair

Different people have different definitions of what “going natural” means to them, but for me, I made a conscious decision in the summer of 2016 to stop applying hair relaxers to my natural hair (Hair relaxers are chemicals that alter the hair texture). In my case, I applied hair relaxers to my curly/kinky hair to make it straight, and easy to handle. Quite frankly I was in the middle of writing my dissertation, and I did not want to be bothered by the stress of braiding my hair, so the BIG Chop was inevitable. I just really needed to reclaim control of my time. D59355FD-94DC-4F54-B325-D7F95A094D36.JPG In hindsight, what is it they say about women and a hair cut? It is said that “a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” – Coco Chanel I was about to conclude a crucial journey, one that culminated in a Ph.D., and I wanted ZERO distractions or extra stress (trust me, at this time my hair was one of my many stressors. I would drive 1.5 hrs ONE WAY, to get my hair braided), so I hit the reset button by chopping all of my hair off. But I didn’t just cut my hair, I decided to STOP using hair relaxers on my hair. Now bear in mind that I had been doing this every 3 months since 1993! 23 years of perming my hair, and then I woke up one morning and decided I had had enough. As a scientist, I often read lots of research papers to stay informed about the latest happenings in different fields. One day I stumbled upon a paper published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, that linked hair relaxers to the occurrence of fibroids amongst Black women. Black women are 2 or 3 times more likely to get uterine fibroids (noncancerous growths of the uterus that often appear during your childbearing years) than any other race. In this study data collected on 23,000 pre-menopausal Black American women between 1997 and 2009 showed that there is an association between African-Americans girls who use straightening and relaxer hair oils and the onset of their menstrual cycle. This is earlier than other racial groups including African Caribbean, Hispanic, and White women. The study raised the hypothesis that hair relaxer use increased the risk of Uterine Fibroids through lesions on the scalp by a burn from hair relaxers. This NEW information, coupled with years of pain, and burns from the application of hair relaxers made me decide that ENOUGH was ENOUGH. Processed with VSCO with oak3 preset It took me a while to learn how to properly care for my natural hair, I cannot tell you how many youtube videos I watched, or how many friends I listened to, telling me what worked for them, and how much money it cost me trying out those products. While there is ALWAYS room for growth, I have come to the conclusion that my hair requires 3 things Good Hair Products I quickly learned that words like “sulfate” in shampoos meant dryer hair (which I didn’t want) and that a good conditioner would make my hair nice and easy to manage. I learned the importance of a good spray bottle, a silk pillowcase, and coconut oil. Tender Loving Care (TLC) My natural hair like every important thing in my life required TLC! I learned the benefits of finger detangling, deep conditioning and caring for my hair myself. Patience I’ve learned that when it comes to natural hair, a great deal of patience is required. Whether in detangling, maintaining length, or even during wash days. You just CANNOT rush the process. In the past, I had applied relaxers to my hair to make it smooth and silky, and easy to manage. I had to unlearn all of that. I had to realize that thick and super curly was just as easy to manage, I just needed to learn how to go about it. Daily Routine I usually have my hair in braids throughout the week. This is my signature look, and if you walked into my job in the middle of the week, you would usually find my hair styled this way.
Processed with VSCO with oak3 preset

My Signature Look

Because I exercise a lot, I like to wash my hair every 2 – 3 days. I do not shampoo my hair frequently, instead, I use the “As I am” conditioner to co-wash and lock moisture in my hair. “Co-washing” simply means washing the hair using only a conditioner. Many shampoos contain sulfates- chemicals that strip the hair of moisture and natural oils, leaving the hair dry and prone to breakage. So I only shampoo once in 3 weeks or monthly. To maintain my natural curls, I use a leave-in conditioner and curl defining spray, and seal that in with hair serum. See the links below to see my favorite curl defining hairsprays. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Biweekly, I deep condition, wash and retwist my hair myself. This is usually a whole day affair, So before I start this process I make sure I settle all other areas that need my attention (I am newlywed *wink*). I would typically do this on a Sunday. I love the Etae line of hair products, so far, out of all the products I have used, this has worked wonders for me.
FullSizeRender 14

My Natural Hair Without Extensions

I also love Shea moisture products too. During my wash days, I deep condition using the Shea Moisture Manuka Honey & Yogurt Hydrate + Repair Protein-Strong Treatment and place a shower cap on it. If I do not have all day, I use the hair bonnet and hair dryer to apply heat to the hair.

Lessons from My Natural Hair

a) No Comparisons I NEVER compare my hair journey with ANYONE else. I have thick and super curly hair. My hair is unique to me, and I love it. It makes no sense to compare my hair length or growth rate with anyone else. We all have a different genetic makeup, and what is truly important is the health of one’s hair and not the length. Just as I do not compare my hair with anyone else, I also do not judge people for their decisions. I know people who still use hair relaxers. It’s a choice, and we all have the freedom to make decisions. b) Beauty Redefined Most importantly I learned that my natural hair is Gorgeous! I do not have to put on a weave or hair extensions to feel or look beautiful. My mane has indeed become my crown like it was always made to be. This was by far the most difficult lesson to learn because I love to change my hairstyle often. I really LOVE to. I had to learn different ways to style my natural hair. I still have bad hair days, I mean just last Saturday I didn’t know how to style it, because the volume had gotten a little crazy, but all in all, it’s been a great journey. You may sometimes see me wear a wig or weave in a photo shoot because I sometimes want to spot different looks without going through the hassle of dying my hair, but after the shoot, the wig comes off and I return to my signature look. Click on the player below to listen to the podcast episode on my Natural hair. Ladies, think about the times when you had to cut your hair, what was the motivating factor, was there a major life decision coming up? leave me a comment below, I’ll love to know Become a supporter of this podcast: https://anchor.fm/drozi/support
Please follow and like us:

Episode 55: The Power of a Smile

I haven’t always been big on smiles. Growing up, I was always the one to be reminded to “smile” in family photos, and even then I would forcefully stretch my lips till they hurt.

As you set your goals for the New Year, I want to encourage you to do 3 little things every day that will help you make meaningful connections this year, and take your networking game to a new level.

  1. Smile

Smiling is one of the easiest things you can do this year that will help you establish a real and lasting connection with people. Did you know that it takes as little as 7 seconds to make a first impression? Why not do it with a smile? In a world where there are so many reasons not to smile; BILLS, disappointments, sorrow, pain, and responsibilities, for some, smiling may seem so difficult.

Personally, I wear my emotions on my face, so it’s so easy to tell exactly how I feel by merely observing my endless facial expressions.

Even while walking on the street, strangers have told me to “smile”. (To be honest, I find this really annoying)

One of the things I learned how to do last year was to smile more. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve had a lot of practice, oftentimes by modeling different smiles in front of a friend and asking her which smile she liked the best, or by using good old mirrors!

I often chuckle now when people say that I’m friendly. It hasn’t always been this way. I’ve had practice and smiling is the easiest way to break the ice.

P.S I still find it difficult to smile when I’m hungry.

 

Benefits of Smiling

  • It shows  compassion and care
  • Calms fears
  • Instils confidence
  • Brings hope and lifts the spirits
  • Puts a smile on someone else’s face too

Did you know that everytime you smile the brain receives a signal to release the happy hormone “endorphin” which in turn can be effective in calming and relieving stress, thereby creating a positive feedback loop of continued happiness?

Here’s your first assignment this year, Try smiling at the next person you see and watch what happens!

I took the picture below on the same day, which picture do you think looks more welcoming? Which picture says I’m open for conversation and ready to network?

“If someone is missing a smile, give them one of yours”

– Dolly Parton

2. Be Present and Maintain Eye Contact

Another easy thing you can do differently this year is to be 100% present in conversations and maintain eye contact during conversations. Lots of things compete for our attention these days, but to make a real connection with people, you want to put away distractions i.e. your best friend: THE CELLPHONE, and make a genuine connection.

Research shows that the mere presence of one’s own smartphone reduces available cognitive capacity.

Maintaining eye contact in a conversation makes you come across as confident, reliable, sociable, warm and honest.

I’m not saying keep gazing into people’s eyes non-stop. However, make an effort to focus when you connect with people this year.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”

– Maya Angelou

If you only have a minute to make a genuine connection with someone every day, make them feel like they are the most important person in the room for that minute, and they will long to be around you all the time.

I personally love the 10-4 Rule. When I am about 10 ft away from a person I make a conscious effort to smile, and then when I get within 4 ft of them I then say hello! It shows people that you are warm and open to having a conversation.

3. Address People By Their Names

One last thing you can do this year to make meaningful connections and be warmer and welcoming this year is simply to address people by their names.

A powerful way to connect with a person is to address them by name. It not only shows you value them but makes them feel important as well. Personally, it’s a turn off when people forget my name or call me the wrong name, and then proceed to ask me personal questions.

I know some people are genuinely forgetful, but you can improve on this skill by asking for a brief history behind the name or the meaning of the name when you first meet a person, and by using their names throughout the conversation. (I find that this is most helpful with non-English names)

You will be amazed at how many conversations I’ve started this way! People love to talk about their experiences. It not only makes them feel special, but it also helps me remember their names.

Always ask people how they will like to be addressed before you get comfortable calling them their first names. I find that in the African setting people love to be addressed by their titles. LOL.

In summary, smile more this year, be present in conversations, maintain eye contact, and address people by their names.

These 3 little things will help you connect better with people this year and improve your networking game.

Click on the player below to listen to the full podcast episode on “The Power of a Smile”.

Become a supporter of this podcast:

https://anchor.fm/drozi/support

Please follow and like us:

Episode 52: Chronicles from Year 1

Adé and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary this month. Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary to Us! Even though it’s our first year officially as man and wife, I’ve known Adé since undergrad in Nigeria (we met 11 years ago)

When I met him he had no beard, Not a single hair was sprouting on his face,but look at God😍😍😍.

Like most brides, there were things I wanted to do at my wedding that I ended up not getting.

I’ll give you an example. I initially wanted the candle lighting ceremony, to be lit by both families, but the venue we chose had a “No Open Flame Policy” which in my opinion made perfect sense.

Eventually, we opted for the Blended Sand Unity Ceremony (see picture below)

IMG_2516

I am so glad we did, because we got a beautiful keepsake (See picture below).

This was especially important to us because Adé and I come from different tribes in Nigeria (Yoruba and Igbo respectively), and we speak separate native languages so for us, the blended sand ceremony symbolized the unity of our families, and tribes.
In the end, you don’t always get what you want, you get what you need.

Processed with VSCO with s3 preset

Keepsake

This time last year, all our friends and family were in Nashville TN, Some were visiting for the very first time, to celebrate our wedding ceremonies; the traditional and church wedding ceremonies.

exclusives 0001

Traditional wedding

Here’s to many more celebrations🥂To Love! When you see it, may you recognize it (even it it comes without the beard😝)
exclusives 0028

On this episode of the podcast we share the lessons we have learned from being married for a year. We get real about stuff like managing conflict, finances and intimacy.
Enjoy❤️

click on the link below to listen to the full episode

Here’s to many more celebrations🥂To Love!!!

Become a supporter of this podcast:

https://anchor.fm/drozi/support

Please follow and like us:
error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)